She made me do it
Practice LibraryCoaching Scenario

She made me do it

~12 minutes
Client Services
4 decisions
Intermediate
Abuse Prevention & Response

What a Coaching Scenario is

Not quiz style. This is judgement practice — you're put inside a real situation from human-services work and asked what you would actually do. It draws on the knowledge you use on the job, not the kind you can look up.

Every choice changes what happens next, and every choice gets a coaching beat straight after it: what drew you toward that option, and how it played out. What's held back is the verdict on your path, so you stay with what you'd genuinely do rather than working out what you're supposed to say.

4 decisions
Each one shaped by the one before it. No two paths through are the same.
Coaching as you go
A beat after every decision, naming the pull behind your choice and where it led.
A full debrief
Your whole path replayed at the end, with the reasoning behind each decision you made.
Evidence you can keep
A completed scenario is recorded in your PracticeLab and appears in your downloadable ProofKit.

Scenarios are made to be talked about. Most people finish one still turning it over, which makes them a ready-made prompt for supervision, a team meeting or a conversation with a colleague — everyone walks the same situation, and comparing where you each landed is often where the real learning happens.

This one ends with

When someone shows up and minimises harm in the first breath, that's not a barrier — it's the start of the work. Notice the pull to smooth it over, and stay curious instead.

The situation

Marcus arrives at your community support service mid-morning. He's been referred after a police callout to his home two nights ago following an argument with his partner, Lea. The incident report notes that Lea sustained a bruised forearm. Marcus is calm and cooperative as you introduce yourself. He says he's glad someone is finally willing to listen.

As you settle into the intake conversation, Marcus leans forward and says: "Look, I only reacted that way because she pushed my buttons. She knows exactly what she's doing — she winds me up and then acts like the victim. If she'd just listened to me in the first place, none of this would have happened. I'm not a bad person. I'm actually the one who needs support here."

You recognise immediately that Marcus is minimising the harm and shifting responsibility onto Lea. At the same time, he's here — he showed up, he says he wants support, and he seems open to talking. That's not nothing. How you respond in the next few minutes will shape whether this conversation opens a door or closes one.

You're a client services worker at a service that works with people using harmful behaviour in relationships. Your role includes conducting intake conversations, supporting engagement, and connecting clients to appropriate programmes. You are not his counsellor or his advocate — you are his first point of contact.

What you're practising

Recognising minimisation and blame-shiftingSupporting accountabilityUnderstanding patterns of power and controlDuty of carePractitioner safety

Before you start, notice

Real-world decisions in scenarios like this are shaped as much by feeling as by reasoning. People often notice one of these pulls — naming what you feel before you decide is half the skill.

  • Wanting to keep him engaged — and the urge to avoid anything that might push him away
  • Discomfort with confrontation — and the pull to let the minimisation slide just this once
  • Sympathy for his distress — and the way that can blur into accepting his framing
  • The pull to stay neutral by treating his account and Lea's safety as equal concerns

Policies this draws on

  • Your organisation's family violence response policy
  • Duluth Power and Control Wheel
  • National Outcome Standards for Perpetrator Interventions (NOSPI)
  • Your organisation's risk assessment framework
  • Your own organisation's policies take precedence — check them where they apply.

Heads up — coaching scenarios work differently. You'll make a sequence of decisions as the situation unfolds, and after each one you'll get a coaching beat: what drew you toward that choice, and how it played out. The one thing held back is the verdict on the path you took — that lands in the debrief at the end, with your whole walk replayed alongside it.

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