When good intentions go too far

You manage a small women's refuge. The organisation runs on a lean budget, a tight staff team, and a group of volunteers who genuinely care about the women you support. One of those volunteers — Robyn — has been with you for nearly three years. She's warm, dependable, and the kind of person who remembers birthdays and notices when someone is having a bad day. The staff trust her. The clients trust her. You trust her.

Over the past few weeks you've noticed Robyn has started driving a client, Amara, to medical and legal appointments in her own car. You weren't aware this was happening until a staff member mentioned it in passing. When you look into it, you also learn that Robyn has given Amara her personal mobile number so Amara can contact her directly between visits.

You speak briefly with Amara, who becomes visibly anxious when you raise it. She says quietly: "Robyn is the only person I can rely on. Please don't take that away from me." You can see she means it. Amara is at an early and fragile stage of rebuilding her life, and the connection she has with Robyn is clearly real.

You know Robyn has done all of this out of genuine care — not to undermine the organisation, not to create a parallel support relationship intentionally. But you also know that what she's doing sits outside her volunteer role, creates uninsured transport risk, bypasses the organisation's communication protocols, and sets up a dynamic that is difficult to sustain and harder to exit safely if things go wrong. You need to act.